Calming signals

Norwegian trainer Turid Rugaas described roughly 30 signals dogs use to calm themselves and others. They are not commands. They are quiet asks: please slow down, I mean no harm, can we take a breath. Humans often miss these because they are subtle. When you learn to see them, you can respond in kind, and your dog starts to trust that you understand. This chapter covers the six most common ones you will see every day.

Turning the head, or the whole body, away from something is the dog way of saying, "I am not a threat, please do the same". A dog may turn its head slightly to the side when you bend over it, or turn its whole body when another dog stares too long. It is not avoidance and it is not rudeness. It is courtesy. You can do it too: if a dog feels nervous near you, turn your shoulder a quarter turn away. You will often see the dog relax.

Dogs sniff the ground for a thousand reasons, and most of them are just interesting smells. But when a dog suddenly drops its nose to the grass at a charged social moment, like another dog approaching head-on or an owner raising a stern voice, that sniff is doing double duty. It signals, "I am busy with this patch of grass, please reduce pressure". Context separates a smell break from a social sniff. Watch the timing: social sniffs almost always happen right after a spike in tension.

When a dog deliberately moves slowly, especially in an approach, it is sending a de-escalation cue. The message is, "I am not rushing at you, please do not rush at me". You will see this in the first few steps of a greeting between unfamiliar dogs, in a dog walking past a tense dog in the park, or in a dog approaching a crying child. Match the energy. If the dog slows, you slow. Suddenly speeding up the interaction undoes the work the dog is doing.

Normal blinks barely register. A slow, deliberate blink in a charged moment is a calming signal. It often comes with softly squinted eyes and a slightly lowered head. Offering a slow blink back, with your own soft face, is one of the few human-to-dog gestures that many dogs seem to pick up on. Try it with a dog you know well. Lower your blink rate, relax your face, and watch the dog often exhale and soften in return.

Curving appeared earlier as the polite way to greet. It is also a calming signal, one a dog will deliberately offer when it feels pressure. If a dog arcs wide around you on a walk, it is not avoiding you, it is politely managing distance. Respect the curve. Do not pull your dog onto the line of the other. Give the other dog its bow shape. Calming signals are two-way. Offering one back, by stepping off the line yourself, is often the best thing you can do.